The Only 3 Things Holding You Back

The new year brings new challenges and opportunities, and it is important to set goals for yourself. But that’s not what this post is about.

If you want to learn about goal setting, read From Goals to Greatness for a thorough breakdown of how you can set SMARTER goals.

For now, let’s forget about New Year's resolutions.

After all, you can only achieve them by focusing on three things. That’s right, there are really only three things that you can control, and only three things holding you back from getting anything you want out of life:

1. Your thoughts

2. Your behaviors

3. Your environment

When most people think about achieving certain goals, they are only focused on one of the three - their behaviors - the actions that they can take to get what they want. By focusing just as much time and energy on the other two areas (your thoughts and environment), you will greatly increase your likelihood of success.

Your thoughts, behaviors, and environment are the three components that determine every outcome in your life. By optimizing each component, you can re-engineer your entire existence to produce the exact results that you are seeking.

1. Learn to engineer your thoughts.

Thoughts drive behaviors, and behaviors determine the majority of outcomes in your life. If you are not thinking the right thoughts, you will not take the right actions. In fact, most people are stuck in repetitive thought patterns that are disempowering and filled with fear.

Most of the fear that people experience is in the context of ‘enoughness’… those thoughts sound like this:

• I’m not good enough.

• I’m not smart enough.

• I don’t have enough money.

• I don’t have enough time.

• I don’t have enough fans, followers, connections, etc.

These are all ‘limiting beliefs’ that keep you from moving forward with what you know you should be doing. You fear failure. The fear keeps you from taking action. The lack of action then causes you to fail. It becomes a vicious cycle and a self-fulfilling prophecy.

We ALL struggle with limiting beliefs, and we ALL find ourselves paralyzed by fear at certain times. After all, if you aren’t feeling any fear, then you are not challenging yourself to play at your highest level. You aren’t pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone to see what you are really capable of. You aren’t taking big risks of failure and embarrassment.

In other words, you are playing it too safe.

One of the most common complaints that I hear from musicians and entrepreneurs is ‘I don’t know what to do.’

And that is partially true, which is why I spend so much time creating educational programs and content to make sure you have the right mindset and strategies to develop your plan for success.

However, more often than not, if you are truly being honest with yourself, you DO know what to do, but you are not ready to push through the fear to get what you want.

In order to consistently push through the fear and limiting beliefs, you must learn to re-program your thoughts.

It starts by recognizing disempowering beliefs. You must refuse to be the victim of circumstance and learn to reframe any situation to your advantage.

You must learn to see obstacles as opportunities in disguise.

Envision showing up as your best possible self, and you will continuously attract circumstances that align with that reality.

Your thoughts dictate pretty much everything else in your life, so examine them critically. Identify limiting beliefs and replace them with empowering statements like this:

• “I’m not good enough” —> “I’m taking steps to get better every day, and my growth keeps compounding to make me one of the best in my field.”

• “I’m not smart enough.” —> “My mind has the extraordinary capability to learn, and I feed it with new, insightful knowledge daily.”

• “I don’t have enough money.” —> “There is far more money in the world than anytime in history, and people with money love to invest in projects they believe will be successful.”

• “I don’t have enough time.” —> “I have more than enough time to accomplish what matters most.”

• “I don’t have enough fans, followers, connections, etc.” —> “I am only one connection away from a major breakthrough.”

If you find these exercises useful, check out my previous post Marvelous Mindset for a deeper breakdown on creating an empowering internal dialogue.

The first step in being able to engineer your thoughts in this way is to begin watching your thoughts. You have to slow down, disconnect, and start noticing the habitual thinking patterns in your head.

PRO TIP: Practice mindfulness daily. Meditation quiets the mental chatter interfering with your focus. I use the Transcendental Meditation technique, but you can start by just sitting in a comfortable position and focusing on your breath.

Journaling is also a good way to examine recurring thinking patterns and their origins. I always recommend using positive affirmations to rewire your old subconscious programming and replace it with new upgraded mental software.

Visualization is another powerful tool that transports your mind to desired futures as if they're already real. This conditions your brain to seek matching realities and take concrete actions that will bring those visions to life.

Reevaluate internal narratives and consciously author new storylines casting yourself as the triumphant hero of your life story. I know it is a cliche, but it is true… when you believe, you can achieve.

2. Learn to engineer your behaviors.

Behaviors are the visible manifestation of your inner thoughts and beliefs. They are the actions that bring your thoughts into reality. To change your life, start by changing your thoughts. Once your thoughts change, your behaviors will change naturally as a result.

When the new year rolls around, most people create a list of goals and resolutions that are all based on taking certain actions. And the VAST MAJORITY fail. Here’s why:

You must align your actions with your values if you want them to be sustainable.

In other words, you must create a narrative in your mind that motivates you to take action. You must develop a strong sense of purpose about WHY a certain goal is important to you if you want to change your behaviors.

We are all creatures of habit. Our habits reflect our values. So if you want to start forming new habits you have to tie them back to your core values. A classic example of this is when people do things for their kids or their family. They don’t have the motivation to do it for themselves, but when they focus on their family they suddenly find a new level of motivation.

Here are some examples of common core values that people incorporate into their daily routines:

• Health - Working out, eating nutritious meals, getting enough sleep, minimizing stress.

• Learning - Setting aside time each day for reading, podcasts, taking an online course to feed your curiosity.

• Relationships - Having regular quality time with family/friends through meals, activities, meaningful conversations without distractions.

• Creativity - Incorporating artistic hobbies like playing an instrument, gardening, cooking, photography, and writing into your schedule.

• Service - Volunteering your time, skills, and resources to help your community through local organizations.

• Growth - Pushing yourself outside your comfort zone through new challenges, personal development, and trying new experiences on a consistent basis.

• Spirituality - Including spiritual/religious practices like prayer, meditation, reading scripture, attending services, and spending time in nature.

• Hard work - Maintaining a routine of industry excellence, goal-oriented tasks and chores that help you to feel productive.

• Honesty - Cultivating transparency and integrity in your communication, decision-making and with yourself.

• Adventure - Building spontaneity into your schedule through low-key explorations, travel, new hobbies and exciting risks.

Getting aligned with your core values helps you move beyond mere intentions and wishful thinking to taking disciplined, consistent action. Identify and cultivate behaviors that propel you towards your goals. Replace "I will do it tomorrow" with "I am doing it now because I value ___________." 

Identify behaviors propelling you towards success and abandon any holding you back. Make tiny, sustainable changes to rewire neural pathways cementing new habits.

Procrastination and excuses disappear when you behave exactly as the person you know you're capable of becoming.

Discovering and using core values to influence behaviors involves a few practical steps:

1. Self-Reflection: Dedicate time to introspect. Ask yourself what truly matters to you, what principles you refuse to compromise on, and what brings you genuine happiness and fulfillment. Reflecting on these questions can reveal your core values.

2. Look at Past Decisions: Analyze your past decisions, especially those that felt right. Often, these choices align closely with your core values.

3. Identify Patterns: Observe patterns in your life. What themes or issues consistently draw your attention or passion? These can be indicators of underlying values.

4. Write Them Down: Once identified, write down your core values. This solidifies them and makes them more tangible.

5. Set Goals Aligned with Values: Create goals that are in harmony with your core values. This ensures that your aspirations and actions are congruent with what's fundamentally important to you.

6. Regular Review and Reflection: Regularly revisit and reflect on your values and goals. As you grow and change, so might your values.

7. Behavioral Alignment: Adjust your daily behaviors to align with your values. This might mean making changes in your lifestyle, work, or relationships to ensure they reflect your core values.

8. Decision Making: Use your core values as a compass for decision-making. When faced with choices, consider which option best aligns with your values.

By integrating these steps into your life, you can ensure that your actions and decisions are consistently aligned with your core values, leading to a more authentic and fulfilling life.

3. Learn to engineer your environment.

The third and final way that you can get what you want out of life is to engineer your environment. Think about it… even if you change your thoughts and your behaviors, if you are stuck in a bad environment you will still be held back from fulfilling your potential.

One of the primary ways that your environment holds you back is from being around the wrong people.

You become the average of those around you.

A good first step in engineering your environment is to eliminate anyone wasting your time with negativity, and replace them with high-achievers motivating your growth and evolution.

Assemble a mastermind of forward-thinkers mutually enhancing one another's growth through peer accountability and knowledge-sharing. Attend events connecting you to beneficial relationships. This is one of the main reasons I created the HOME Community, so that serious and ambitious music industry professionals could position themselves around other go-getters and high achievers.

Evaluate your social circle. Distance yourself from negative influences and foster relationships with those who inspire, motivate, and challenge you.

Your environment significantly influences your thoughts and behaviors. So focus on curating an atmosphere that fosters growth, productivity, and positivity. This includes both your physical surroundings and your mental environment.

Create a space that inspires and motivates you, whether it’s a home office, studio, or just a corner of a room. Eliminate clutter and distractions to maximize focus. Similarly, control your mental inputs through careful consumption of media.

Your inputs determine your outputs.

If you are taking in mindless content all day, how do you expect to become a high performer?

Instead of just scrolling through your feed, interact intentionally with communities aligned with your goals for continued learning and accountability.

Your habits arise within context, so curate an optimal context. Identify draining influences, and then establish boundaries or separate entirely to avoid toxic energy drains. Physically remove distractions when high-focus time arrives. Turn your phone off and optimize your surroundings to reflect serious priorities and enable focused flow states.

Travel to conferences, events and places that facilitate optimal focus and exposure to new ideas. If needed, prioritize changing your geographic location to make sure you are surrounded by the right group of peers.

Make 2024 your best year yet.

Apply these frameworks and watch desired outcomes manifest as your reengineered thoughts, behaviors, and environment operate in aligned harmony.

Your potential is limitless, and you have the power to design your life. If you want more tips on how to design a life of health, wealth, and wisdom, be sure to subscribe to my other newsletter that I write with my partner called Ayurveda Life Design.

Whether facing obstacles or seizing opportunities, the power lies within you to design circumstances producing any outcome. Stop blaming outside forces and take complete ownership of your life by engineering your internal machinery for optimal performance.

With focus and discipline, 2024 can come together in a beautiful and powerful way. Are you ready to take back the reins?